My Life.

When people met me for the first time I look like I don't have any problems. But the truth is I've been through a lot of pain that not a lot of my friends can relate to. To start off everyone at least has one problem in their lives that impacts what they do for the rest of their lives. I used to be the type of person who would get very attacted to people and when they hurt me it would kill me inside. But that has changed now. When I was around 7 years old to when I was ten, I was sexually abused by my brother who is around 10 years older then me. Later I found out that he isn't my biological brother. My dad has adopted him when he was born. When my dad was with his first wife. Even though it was just last summer that I remembered these events happening and I'm sixteen years old now it still look quite a toll on my life. I had just remembed the events when I was at my boyfriends house when we were haning out. And from then on whenever I was around guys I would remember even more. A few weeks after I told my boyfriend of what had happened he wanted me to tell my parents when I was ready cause I hadn't told them when I was little. But I wasn't ready. One summer night my boyfriend was over and I lost it. I started acting crazy and crying costantly remembing images of me getting rapped. Of course it was hard for my boyfriend to understand. Later in that night it got worse and I started going insane I locked my self in the bathroom and cryed on the bathroom floor. After my boyfriend got in he said I was hitting my head agaisnt the wall. Eyes rolling into the back of my head. And saying it was my fault my brother did what I did. After this there was nothing else my boyfriend could do but go and get my mom. She was there to comfort me and took me to go talk to someone who helped. I was very fragiel to talk to about it and had a hard few weeks after that. Police were involved because I was a minor. But charges were dropped because he was my brother and it was a long time ago and my memory wasn't the best on the event. I wasn't able to talk to him for a while and I we talk at time through MSN but I can't come to bring myself to see of talk to him in person or  on the phone.



I always through that I had great parents that loved eachother to much split up. Again I was wrong. My parents got into disagreements and would get into fights but isn't that normal? I always got involved and would run down and try and get them to stop. Even when I was little and it hurt me to see some of the things that had happened. In 2010 my parents go into a fight at my cottage and I thought it was all over from then on. But things go a bit better when we go home until my parents go into a fight like no other and my mom was in a bad place and looked like she wasn't going to be in my life anymore. But my dad ended up leaving for a bit. After a few days they talked and things didn't resolve. So one day my dad called my mom to come and pick him up and she said she wanted a month a part so she could get the help she needed. My dad didn't take this lightly and things got bad between eachother and they never go back together. My dads family has cut of my mom and took a part of me with them. I don't talk to my aunt anymore because she doesn't support me at all. I see my grandparents ever so often and I never get phone calls from my dad. I only see and hear from him when he comes to get me and my sister on his weekend.
My younger sister Alissa and my mom have never really gotten along since my mom and dad had my other little sister Autumn. But when my dad wasn't living in my house anymore it was like my mom and sister were getting along more until one night when things got bad and I woke up to four police men standing in my bedroom at 11 at night. After thing between them weren't good they never talked and my sister only came down for meals. One night my mom wanted help with the dishes and my sister wouldn't come so my mom got mad cause she asked so many times for help. Once my sister came down the fighting only just began. That night my sister said that she hated my mom and didn't want to live at my house anymore so she left the next day.
The relationship I have with my sister isn't good. My mom, littlest sister and I have a good relationship but Alissa and I don't. After she left it was hard cause I lost my dad and my sister, who next? I never talked about my sister behind her back. We didn't always gett along but thats just how sisters are sometime. But now my sister doesn't trust me and thinks that I'm turning out to be just like my mom. She has sent me messages saying that I'm dead to her and we might be blood related but were not sisters. My friends tell me not to worry but thats family who doesn't you to be in their lives and that hurts. Right now I no longer have her on facebook and we don't ever talk. Barley ever even when I go to my dads.
My relationship with my mom is awesome! I love my mom and she is my hero. She has been through so much she was raped as a little girl to and has metal health problems. Like bipolar and anxiety. She was addicted to weed for quite a few years and was put on house arrest for stealing money. Even though she came clean she still had consiquences. She has gotten so much help and has found god. She is now a changed person and says that she wouldn't change the desions that she made in the world for anything because those mistakes are what has brought her to where she is today and made her the person she is.


Even though I have had a lott of troubles in my life. I have learned so much and know that I grew up great. I have kept the people who really care about me in my life. I wont change for anyone. I know who I am and who I want to be, no one can take that from me! Im proud of how I have over come great problems and I'm open to everyone who asks about what I've been through. I'm not ashamed.